Creativity and Spiritual India

The ultimate high-tech ultra futuristic revelation revealed!!!!!

After thousands of years of research into nutrition and stuff, and after rifling through heaps of contradictory opinions, the world’s bestest scientists have reached a consensus. There are only two kinds of food: weird tasting and non-weird tasting.
In popular parlance, weird tasting food is called, “healthy food,” and non-weird tasting food is called, “tasty food.”
Some argue that if one possesses the willpower, one should only eat weird food. Bitter, intense, sour!!
Others say no! To enjoy a happy life–albeit short and full of health problems–one should eat only non-weird food.Tasty, fatty, salty!!
The truth is, as the latest super-scientific studies have revealed, that for optimal mental, physical, primal, causal, nasal, dental and social health, a wise one will eat a mix of weird and non-weird food.
‘What?’ cry the weird-food advocates. ‘What is the harm in eating only healthy food?’
Well, my theoretical friend, the problems are twofold. First, a person may become twisted and bitter by this diet, growing to hate those who have ‘fallen to the platform of eating non-weird food.’ Such a person may withdraw from society, begin muttering to themselves and start a two or even one person cult in some exotic location.
‘That’s not me!’ you say. ‘I’ll never abandon my community!’
And well you shouldn’t. Well alright. But here’s the clincher: it’s well-known that if a person eats only ultra-healthy food, they will in the course of time develop superpowers.
‘That’s great!’ you say.
Great in comic books and movies, yes. Super strength, super memory. What could go wrong? But imagine if you were suddenly–or over the course of say a two-year diet regime–five times stronger than you are now. You would be like a weapon. Shaking hands with someone could land you in jail, hugging your friend could kill him. Having a great memory sounds fantastic, but what if you could remember every single detail of everything that ever happened to you in your entire life and it was in your brain all the time all the all the time at the foremost tip of your consciousness and it was impossible to get rid of?!
?!
‘Well, that would be bad.’
Yes.
On the other hand, if a person does not eat any weird food at all, they turn into a slug and get eaten by enormous birds.
Thus a balanced diet is optimal.
Here ends my brief explanation of the latest scientific findings regarding nutrition and lifestyle. I hope this is been helpful to you.

If you disagree with me, please say so in the comments. If you agree with me, please debate respectfully with those who don’t. You can subscribe by clicking ‘follow’ in the lower right hand corner of the screen, or click the relevant links to share this around.
I’ll be publishing once a week.

3 responses

  1. I STRONGLY DISAGREE! There have been times where I ate almost entirely non-weird food. And when I turned into a slug, did I get eaten by an enormous bird? NO! I didn’t! That’s cuz I live in a giant box and birds are terrified of boxes.

    On the other hand, I have also eaten only weird food before. The cult I started at that time had THREE people in it. The author is ignorant and spewing only lies. Down with the establishment!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 27, 2014 at 6:17 pm

  2. I hear you man. I know you’ve also done extensive work promoting the use of giant boxes, and I totally respect that and see the necessity of it in the slugs-not-getting-eaten-by-birds arena. I just wanted to take a step back here in this article, causally speaking: if a person didn’t get turned into a slug due to poor diet in the first place, they wouldn’t need a box, would they? I just wanted to keep things simple.
    I’m also familiar with the excellent three-person cult you founded. Conventionally speaking, two of those people are you – each using 10% of ‘your’ brain. While I personally accept those two people as distinct individuals with their own rights and ambitions, by the present outmoded legal definition of a person, your cult would just contain two people. Because I’m aiming this blog at a general audience, I chose not to mention special cases like yours. If you’d like me to link to an article by your good self on the subject, however, I’d be more than happy to oblige!

    Liked by 1 person

    December 1, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    • Oh look at you with your clever responses. They’re so clever. At least your responses are… so very very clever. They really are clever actually… your responses that is. Wow, your responses are so very clever. In truth, the cleverness of your responses astonishes me. Oh! You have made such clever responses, I bow before thee. Oh fellows! Hear me! These responses are clever! Should we not then absorb ourselves in praise of their creator?

      Yes! Jaya-1 is right… we should… We should praise them and we should compel at least one other person to praise these clever responses. Thank you Jaya-1 for showing us the way… The way of praising the creator of the clever responses.

      Oh Jaya-2, I was fortunate to see these responses and know that they were clever — praise the clever responses — but it is you, Jaya-2, who are my first apostle. It is you, Jaya-2, who is brave enough to put your faith in the revelations bestowed on your fellow. And it is you, Jaya-2, who received the inspiration to compel a third person to the higher way of praising the creator of the clever responses of reply.

      Praise the clever one!

      P.S. Sorry if we came across a little fanatical. We’ve been on a sugar-free diet out of fear of large birds.

      Liked by 1 person

      December 2, 2014 at 3:59 am

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